My Relationship with Anxiety

I've had an odd relationship with Anxiety but i'm afraid my story is more common than i'd like it to be. After experiencing traumas in my life, i came to a point where i couldnt go outside without having a panic attack, it would happen while on a crowded bus, in the middle of grafton street, waiting on the queue for the bathroom at a club or while deciding which mouthwash to pick in a grocery store. i can't lie those were terrifying moments where i couldn't understand what was happening to me and would try as hard as i could to not be noticed by anyone in fear of looking like a complete fool. See, back then i didnt know much about panic attacks and much less about trauma so i couldn't associate myself with either one. I went to my gp seeking clarity to these strange symptoms i was having and he went on to prescribe me asthma medication and asked if i needed a letter from him for job unemployment or for refugee seeking purpose.  (To those who do not know me, i am black and African and i'm sadden when i think that this only happened 7years ago from a medical professional.)   I lelt the gp office more confused than when I  went in and still feeling like a massive weirdo but i filled the prescription and to the gp's credit,  the asthma bottle did help when in the middle of a panic attack but it would take a couple more years before i started understanding what had been happening to me and receiving the necessary help. Most people fortunately do not experience extreme anxiety like I did and most of us do not experience traumas (in the common meaning of the word) but we've all either experienced high levels of anxiety or known someone who has or still does. So with the current global pandemic putting most of us on edge, here are 3 things i've learned as someone whose anxiety has improved immensely and is still finding new ways of improving it.

Numero Uno - Go Easy on yourself.

Yes i know, it is easier said than done but this is something i wish i'd been better at remembering in my relationship with anxiety. When suffering from anxiety, the level of intensity can change throughout the day, weeks or months which can be very frustrating, understanding that it is a learning process of how to best manage your anxiety for yourself instead of beating yourself up that you havent gotten rid of it help relieve that pressure.

Numero Dos - It is for your benefit.

How can that be? (you may ask yoursel).  Anxiety feels hoooorrible!! - let's not sugar coat it;  it stops you from being able to focus on any task or enjoy the simple pleasure of life. BUT i like to think of our body as a computer and the mind as the command center (as you can tell i dont know much about IT lol); when our computer system isn't working  properly, the computer starts malfunctioning, sometimes the error is easy to fix and the computer is back to work in no time and other times it takes more expert guidance to solve the matter, well same goes with our mind and anxiety. It may feel horrible but that is because something in our system is malfunctioning and that pain is your signal that something is to be repaired. When i started looking at anxiety and all my emotional turmoil in this way, my relationship with myself changed for the better. I started listening to myself more & more so was then able to give my mind and body what it needed to move forward.

Numero Tres - You are not alone!

Our society has become more mental health conscious so i'm sure we all know that people experience anxiety. But in a world where we've created borders and are meant to only take care of our own backyard, we can easily feel isolated and unable to openly discuss our struggle with anxiety. Maybe you don't have someone close to talk to about it or those you have don't seem to be able to understand what's going on with you or how to help but rest assured, we are here, your tribe is here and you too can find the solutions you need. Us who experience anxiety and its emotional and social impact in our every day life understand what you are going through and hopefully we can learn from each other and uplift one another